Shakespeare: Shocking New Evidence Of His Nottingham Heritage Revealed

Fífl Huhtikuu
Sun 1 Apr, 2018

We have been granted exclusive rights to be the first to break the incredible news that the world's most famous playwright was actually...from Nottingham

In a shocking discovery by archivists at the British Library, details of William Shakespeare's life have emerged that show the Bard was not actually from Stratford, but Nottinghamshire. 

"We had it all wrong for years" said Professor James Gurney, Bardologist "All those curly letters that the Elizabethans used, coupled with the manuscripts being a bit dirty led us to assume they said 'Stratford'. Using closer-reading techniques developed at our labs, we now realise that it actually reads 'Stapleford'. We've had it wrong all these years".

Academics and Shakespeare scholars have long pondered on the large chunks missing from Shakespeare's life, notably a period in his early twenties where he seems to disappear altogether. This has now been resolved "We were delighted to discover that he spent 1578-82 drinking in the Nottingham pub Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem, although it was then named the 'Ye Newish Trip To Jerusalem'. Newly discovered records show that he liked nothing more than to have a couple of pints on an evening, and a relaxing cigar. We believe that it here he came up with the plots for his most important works, before later turning up in London around 1592".

Shakespeare went on to have great success in the capital, before returning to Stapleford in 1611. "We now know that this was not retirement, merely something to do with house prices and discontent about not being able to get what he described in letters as 'a decente chipped cobbe'" Professor Gurney told us "Again, we assumed this was a return to Stratford, but on closer examination realised that yes, it was Stapleford. A lot of Shakespeare experts are feeling rather red-faced today, I can tell you!"

The implications of this discovery are immense. The humble town of Stapleford, which lies around 6 miles from Nottingham on the Derbyshire border, is now expected to see its annual tourism numbers rise from 3 visitors in 2017 to 825,000 in 2018. 

Councillor Richard MacRae, Stapleford North, told us "We'll probably need a plaque. Yes, a plaque is always a winner, isn't it?"

Stratford, however, is bereft at the news "We are bereft at the news" said the Mayor, looking bereft "We sort of suspected he was probably an East Midlander, considering how much talent they seem to have had from that part of England. But we went along with it, I mean, why not?" pausing to dab his eyes with a lace hanky, he then continued "Well, we have Coventry down the road, and Warwick Castle is quite close, so it's not all bad".

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